My Little Sister Can't Be a Level 200 Mage!
by Duke 'The King' Nukem
Summary: No way! After playing RuneScape for the first time and entering a steamy cyber moment it couldn't be who he thought it could be but is it? Stay tuuuuuuned.
1. Chapter 1

My little sister can't be a level 200 mage!

Chapter 1: Crashing the computer.

Crash Bandicoot was chilling out on the island. It was a pretty chill day or chilling, or so he chilled. He had the strange urge to wet his weenie but he was holding back. Coco was home from school today, and he didn't want to terrify her with his massive fucking cock.

Coco Bandicoot jumped onto him,

"Good morning oni-chan!" She chirped chirpily as she thrusted a rectangular box in Crash's hand. Crash looked at it confused before gnawing on the side of it, expecting a chocolatey nougat center.

"No silly! It's a laptop! I got a new one, so I don't need my old one anymore ni-chan! Have fun 3" Crash gave his little sister a dirty fucking look. He was pisssed as a snake on sunday to be shat out of his chocolate. He wanted a snack. He was too lazy. Coco left. He was alone.

"SIIIIIIIIGH" Crash doesn't speak English so he only makes the sounds (However he does speak a mean Philipeno). He began to play with the computer and quickly learned C++ and coded his own fucking indie game.

"Crash! What are you doing?" Aku aku became interested in the device, as large blocky colours scattered on the screen.

"I'm making us a new fucking game because no other publisher will!" Crash announced, however he didn't actually say this because he only speaks china, so he made little sense.

"Crash this game looks wonderful, you should enter the big indie tourney!" Aku says.

Crash does.

Crash wins the tourney, his indie game being the most pixelally orgasmic due to the hot as fuck h-core sex scene between pixel crash and pixel tawna (that's his furry fucking gf I don't think she's in the series much so I'm just letting you know here so you know he isn't fucking his sister yet.).

Tiny Tiger was fucking furious! He had entered a state of menopause, it had been way too many games since Crash 3. He too had entered the contest under the alias "Fillip Phish" and was enraged that his masterpiece Fuz II had lost the competition.

"CRASH BANDICOOT YOU DIRTY FAP FUCKIGN HOMO I CHALLENGE YOU TO 1V1 ME ON RUNESCAPE YOU FAT FUCK!" he demanded this challenge as it was a challenge Crash cannot deny.

Crash couldn't deny the challenge. Crash began to play Runescape.

"Crash, you've been on that laptop for like 30 fucking hours man, you gonna take a break?" Crunch obviously didn't know fuck all about how MLG Crash could be. He was a fucking moron, Crash wasn't stopping for shit. He had all the Monster Energy Drink and Doritoes he needed to climb to the top of the Run Escape food chain, he was going to mop the floor with his fucking piss before Tiny Tiger one upped him in any fucking contest possible. Crash was a sore fuckign loser, and couldn't stand to lose anything which is why he always won.

Suddenly, Crash realized that he hadn't lost his virginity even because of how he had not lost a thing. This had to be fixed. Crash could not bare the shame of going to the pvp arena knowing he was lacking the spark of hot horny hotdog sex. He needed to get his virtual dick into some medieval virtual poon.

Crash was fucking pro by this point, it didn't take him long because he fucking cheated and bought his account off of Craigslist. PussyPoundGamer39 was a level 200 Archer, and he was more than 200 times ready to be laid. But who would fuck his furry ass if they discovered his dark true identity? He had to sneak it.

Crash entered into high level wildy with his full D(ragon. Like a ragon hard on) armour. Cause he knew that ladies loved the D. He was gulping back his Saints Flow like no tomorrow has he pressed on deeper and harder into the harsh virtual false easy climate. His furry wang was becoming a furry bang as his excitement raged through cyberspace.

SHAZAM! A female was ahead behind the tree! Crash's willie did a 360 as he exclaimed,

"good."

He approached swiftly, unsheathing his dagger and entering all out combat. PuraLover229 wasn't going to know what hit her. But Crash would. It would be his penis. He knew it would be his penis. But she didn't.

Crash attacked, poisoning her swiftly with his DDS++. She feel in agony, it seemed like she'd need to use the mage speell. Ice blocks surrounded PussyPoundGamer and Crash shrieked! He couldn't lose this one chance to fuck good. He got his shit together and fucked her up with some more mouse clicks, he couldnt wait til those clicks where engaging a moving penis through PuraLover's vaginal inners. His eyes began to bounce up and down with hyperactive hornfuel as Puralover229 begged for mercy. Crash loved it when they begged for mercy. Loved how it excited his penis. He sucked back some more Saints Flow and shoved his face full of doritoes as he typed his demands.

"Fuck me and I will let you survive the D warrior PussyPoundGamer!" he typed to which she replied,

"Oooooh~ W- what are you going to do to me?"

"I said FUCK ME" he typed again so she said

"O- Okay M- Mister b- but brb I need to piss"

Crash was fucking angry. He didn't want to wait, he wanted his orange furry jizzy to stain his monitor now! But suddenly he heard the door of his sister's room open. He peeked out carefully to see his sister quickly move in to use the washroom. The door locked with a click and Crash heard his runegame update.

"Okay, d- do whatever you want to me now Mr Stranger 3" PuraLover had typed to him. Crash's cock suddenly fell limper than a helium balloon minus the helium.

"SWEET CHRIST ON CHRISTMAS I'M FUCKIN MY GOD DAMN SISTER!?"

End of Chapter One


	2. Chapter 2

Crash bandicoot episode II  
-Crashing threw a won whores slay

Crash was itching, he Rash.

"Walloping Wumpa fruit, I am itching."

Crash had decided that even though puraluver69 was his sister, he would cyber with her anyways, because Crash was a little fucked in the head and lacked many proper morals. Coco was screaming in orgasm in the other room. Crash was chewing bubble gum. Crash stuck the bubble gum to the bottom of his computer desk. Crash had trolled'm self! Crash had a half life 2 poster. His steam game collection was massive and untouched. Like his dick.

Tiny tiger was bored. Tiny was tiger was waiting for his challenger. Tiny was tiger was pk'ing some noobs who wondered too far in the wildie.

"Wheres crash, I want fight."

Tiny was tiger was bored. I'm bored.

Coco bandicoot just had her first cyber assisted orgasm, and was in a big rush to go brag to her brother about it. When coco opened crashes bedroom door, she was surprised at what she saw. She saw it all right, the whole 9/10 yards. It was crashes My little pony collection, and he was stroking pewdie pony pie with his massive fucking cock. Crash still had his runescape screen open, and Coco was able to see the truth.

"WAHOO" Yelled Crash as he awkwardly came all over Aku-Aku.

Coco screamed in horror at what had just happened.

"Omigosh!"

Crash was freaking the fuck out, he just dosed so much heroin in his bandi-bloodstream.

"N-n-no sis come back! Its not what it aaaa fuck yeah it is but that's normal ok? But it felt good so stop whinning you I'll kill you little whore."

Crash ran outside. He was surrounded by a group of police man under the command of Aku-Aku who was still dripping wet.

"Halt stop put your hands up your under arrest for fucking your sistercoot over the webicoot."

"AAAAAAAA it was him!"

Crash pointed to a mysterious figure. It was the annoying orange.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey Crash! Hey Crash hey!"

Crash ate the orange, and had explosive diarihha, this was the perfect thing to distract the coppers and make his escape.

"Grrrr! That sick bandicoot is annoying!"

Dr Neopets Cortex was working on his latest invention. If he could complete the membership code generator machine, he would never have to pay Jagex a singe penny to enjoy all the members features on rs. However, he was also disgusted by Crash cyber fuck/sexing his sister because it was CORTAX who was in love with Coco.

"I will see to it that someday we are related bandicoot! But for now, I have my own plan!"

Cortex went to an internet café in hopes to find and hire an assassin. Amongst all the people playing League Of Legends, he found one person playing Runescape. And it wasn't any old random person either. It was Cortexes old college roommate and former partner in crime, Dr N. Dre.

"Dre! My favorite Dr! I must ask a favor of you!"

Dr Dre tilted his shades to look cortex in the eyes.

"This better be important Neo, I got some castle wars to win."  
"Oh but it is! It appears that Crash Bandicoot has been forcing his sister to cyber with him using his level 80 woodcutting! But you see, I stand no chance against fighting his account without a membership! And that's where you come in Dre! If you could manage to somehow defeat the Bandicoot while talking down to him, then he might re-consider his life's value, and kill himself!"  
"Nigga that's just plain fucked. But why don't you just buy your own goddamn membership and kill him yourself?"  
"I'll give you these rare crystals."  
"Consider the Bandicoot, a 'Banned'icoot!"

WILL CRASH? WILL AKU-AKU PUT CRASH IN JAIL? WILL DR DRE KEEP PAYING FOR WIFI AT THE AIRPORT? WHO IS DR N GIN AND TONIC?

NEXT TIME

ON

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH BANDICOOT ADVENTURES

Fuck you all for reading this I hope you get aids and die


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

Crash Bang Boom

Dr Dre and M and M were cruisin in there low riders tryin to find that Bandibastard. It was common knowledge by now that Crash was wanted in every state sans the state of Michigan cause they just didnt give a fuck by now. The FBI had lost wind of him and were putting up posters just like in that one movie where the cops put up the posters of that one guy and the bounty hutners find him except this time Dre and the M'ster were going to get 'er doooone.

I think it was the Beavis and Butthead movie

"Heeeey! How much farther is it to Michigan!?" Eminem asked, his crusty red candy coating digging into his chocolatey backside, "My shell is killing me! I can't wait to get out of this rust bucket and grab some poon!"

"Yo M y'all just gotta keep it real Cortex is payin us big dolla dolla money fo this job real." Dre responded, cranking the volume dial to eleven as the gangman style flowed through the radio waves.

"Y'all turn left at dis light n we be there soon"

* * *

Crash sure enough was lurking the slums of Detroit. A pack of friendly rottweilers had taken him in as their cub and he was prowling the dumpsters in search of used condom wrappers for nourishment as all of his spare change was being used to fund his 3G so he could get some runescapin in.

Just because he accidently fucked his sister before didn't mean it had to happen again, I mean there were at least 5 other women on this game! There was no way he was gonna let that mistake happen twice,

"No sisters lol" he reminded himself.

It took him about 4 men pretending to be chicks, selling his entire set of rare goodies to please them, and getting his anus virtually pounded to death by Tiny Tiger to make Crash realize that the virtual world of mmmoe arpga (MMORPG) was no good.

"Fuck zezima" he spun his laptop across the room with a spin and off Crash goes. Crash stopped by Gamestop who stopped him and said " hey stop in and stop your wallet down by the door stop and buy some game"

Crash bought the new Hatsoonee Meeku Project Deevah for his psTriple. But they were sold out so Crash really bought God of War collection for $10 cause it was all he had left.

"RAH RAH RAH RAH" Kratos was mad.

Crash plugged his earholes. "Wow wtf this replaced me why sega I thought I was ur blur man. Why you gotta be mature I can fuck" Crash was getting fucking furious.

SNOOP DORG APPROACHES

"Sup ya'll snigaliga" he says.

"FUCK YOU SNOOP YOU AREN'T EVEN BY DA FOOT" Crash rips snoop dog's muzzle off to reveal the mane of a majestic lion and snnopps lion is created.

"Wow thank you Crash I can now smoke the weed as a respectable adult." Snoop Lion tells him.

"Fuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuuu" Crash says back he is not in the mood for between the lions and their bullshit so he flips his bird a little because he just took a piss and he needs to get that shit dry, then he gives snoop the finger and books his first place back to Japan to find his anime games.

Crash was all out of Cash but he was able to make the difference to get on the plane because he found a very old friend in the airport terminal.

"Brosama is that you!?" Crash had met Brosama Aladin his good buddy on the internet, they had shared a runescape beer together and were the best of virtual buddy.

"Woah Crash! hush hush I am supposed to be dead lol I am going to bomb the plane"

"Woah fuck no man I need the plane to take me to japan!" he announces with fury

"Hey woah man why you nos ay this sooner good friend I put you inside bomb and sn eak to you plane and they put you in free of charge as my luggage. Instead of boom plane we take oyu to tokyo boom town and you get big anime!"

Crash liked the sound of this plan, and the idea of big anime gave him a big erection.

"It was as it sounds, as solid deal" Crash announces and they fly to Japan just as Dre and th arrive to see them fly away.

"WELL SHIT HOW THE FUCK ARE WE GONNA CHASE THEM DOWN NOW!?" the M and M had severe anger issues possibly as a direct result of him being a piece of fucking candy.

"Be chill yo I got me a private jet" Said dre as he whipped out his iphone11, "Ye man, get me Jay Jay."

* * *

All the while Cortex had spent the day exploring his hairy yellow backdoor, waiting for his plans to unfold as he scrapped the small crumpets of shit from his buttocks and into his long, boney fingernails. Boney M was there too they played some sweet Raspyewtin while he did the deed.

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
